Tom's toothpaste

I wrote in an earlier blog post that while I'd been spending all this time obsessing about buying body washes, shampoos, and other shower supplies that aren't tested on animals, I completely overlooked the fact that I'd been using Crest toothpaste for years which is made by Procter & Gamble, who happens to be one of the biggest offenders when it comes to animal testing. So, I figured I'd give Tom's a try even though I hadn't really enjoyed it all that much when I tried it many years ago. But that was many years ago, so maybe it would be better now, or perhaps my taste buds have matured so that I will now appreciate the subtle flavor nuances that an all-natural toothpaste has to offer.

Well, I was wrong. I still don't like it. Blame it on being used to the artificial flavors and sweeteners and whatever else you might find in a tube of Crest toothpaste, if you'd like. After all, Tom's really does taste all-natural. I can almost imagine the Tom's crew skipping through the meadows of Maine, sporting only loincloths, as they gather up little sprigs of mint, along with a healthy serving of dirt and sticks and other mulch-like ingredients, then grind it all into a paste using only a mortar and pestle. Finally, with the utmost care, they coo and hum in a meditative state as they fill each tube, and hold it proudly in the air as if they were offering it directly to the gods. And it is one of those carefully filled tubes of earth paste that I am now putting into my mouth. It's an honor, really.

I do feel good about the fact that I'm not supporting Procter & Gamble, but I'm instead choosing to give my money to a company like Tom's. But man alive, can't they do anything about the flavor? Does all-natural really have to taste this bad? I'm sorry, Tom's. I appreciate you. I really do. It's not you, it's me. I just have to acclimate, I guess.